Clever Handle Here

9gag: Halloween is coming! As a mom, I should find this...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 21:45:35 -0500

9gag:

Halloween is coming!

As a mom, I should find this abhorrent. I really shouldn’t be laughing my ass off. Really.

operatorsmanual: FINAL IMAGE FROM A ROLL OF FILM LABELED...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 14:49:53 -0500

operatorsmanual:

FINAL IMAGE FROM A ROLL OF FILM LABELED ‘LITTLE TIMMY’S ADVENTURES’

operatorsmanual: DEAD CLOWN PLATE ROOM REJECT. REASON: “TOO...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 14:45:56 -0500

operatorsmanual:

DEAD CLOWN PLATE ROOM REJECT. REASON: “TOO CHEERFUL.”

WHA????

thekelsmith: I’m trying very hard to not let the piles of work to be done around the house today...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 11:07:04 -0500

thekelsmith:

I’m trying very hard to not let the piles of work to be done around the house today stress me way the fuck out. I am tired, Audrey is REALLY tired and Matt is not here.

EVERYTHING in my house needs to be cleaned. The sun is shining and leaves are falling from the trees and I am hemorrhaging money paying online bills.

I just need the patience and energy to make it a few more hours and then I can collapse.

Can relate BIG. TIME. Hang in there, Kel!

nebraska-admiral: So I have a handful of recurring dreams. Some...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 10:17:03 -0500

nebraska-admiral:

So I have a handful of recurring dreams. Some I hate, like the one where I’m back at high school with no hopes of graduating. Others I like, such as the one where I’m Batman. There’s a third class of recurring dream I have that roughly approximates to “I am very confused by this dream” and last night’s falls under that category.

You see, Internet, I have dreams that Billy Corgan shows up to my house uninvited to play Christmas music in my living room. Typically, he’s non-plussed that I haven’t promoted his unannounced show. In last night’s edition, he was drunk and had bandages over either of his ears and wanted a blanket to cover up with.

LMAO That’s spectacular! Truly, you should sell tickets to your brain. All I ever dream about is being hopelessly lost in the biggest, weirdest college dorm ever. Not quite as cool as it sounds.

Look out, homie!

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:34:55 -0500

Watching New Jack City. When things suddenly go slo-mo, you know someone’s about to get popped.

To all the kids out there - stay in school!

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:30:29 -0500

To all the kids out there - stay in school!

Didn't know you were back in the land of the Tumblr living! Welcome back!

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:29:15 -0500

Thanks!! Yeah, been lurking on here recently, and hope to post more often now. Kinda dropped off once the kiddo came along. We’re hardcore MSTies - we even live a few miles from where they used to be filmed, and own all the DVDs that have come out. :) You know Neil Show is back too, right?

NeilShow2, caption this, plz!

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 19:59:30 -0500

NeilShow2, caption this, plz!

turnofthecentury: Nikola Tesla, the great inventor and...

Sun, 09 May 2010 22:15:04 -0500

turnofthecentury:

Nikola Tesla, the great inventor and engineer

He’s reading Rudjer Bošković’s book “Theoria Philosophiae Naturalis”

[iconic photo,few more here]

submission from raise & quell

If my powers of deduction exist, I believe you had a baby. Congratulations! (He's very cute!)

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 12:15:42 -0500

I did! Thanks!! We’re pretty enamored… exhausted, but enamored! :)

nowmybutthurts: portrait of ross by felix gonzalez-torres As...

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 14:21:06 -0500

nowmybutthurts:

portrait of ross by felix gonzalez-torres

As I’ve gone on and on about this guy today, it’s easy to see why he’s one of my favorite conceptual artists.

At first glance it would appear to be the perfect parody of contemporary art. “Why, it’s only a pile of candy!” Those more inclined to actually interrogate it as a work of art might be more charitable. They might interpret the color, the texture. They might realize how the haphazard nature of the candy’s piling makes it’s final form mutable. And if they were bold enough, they might take a piece of the candy and eat it and enjoy it, and realize that this work of art gave the viewer some sort of tactile reaction and sense manipulation that a Monet or Martini or Mondrian couldn’t.

Ross was Gonzalez-Torres’s lover, who died of AIDS. When Ross was first diagnosed, his doctor told him his ideal weight was 155 pounds. Every day, the candy is weighed and 155 pounds is placed out. Here the candy IS love/happiness/sweetness/togetherness. Visitors to the museum are encouraged to enjoy a piece. It’s a giving, generous work of art; but with a dark edge; for as the candy gradually diminishes it symbolizes Ross’s weight loss due to AIDS. However, each morning the candy is weighed out and replenished,so that in this artwork (unlike life) Ross may live on forever.

Pretty darn powerful.

There's a turd in the punchbowl ... and now there's a turd in my heart. All because of you.

Happy birthday!

Here's to a peaceful day all to yourself before your own lil turd drops!

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 11:46:23 -0500

Thanks! LOL

I think there’s a procedure called a turdoplasty that could fix your heart, if you’re so inclined. However, IMHO, your heart is perfect, turd and all. :)

theneilshow said it's your birthday. I have to say happy birthday because by happy coincidence, today is also MY birthday.

So, Happy Birthday....birthday stealer.

I am also following you now, just to make sure you don't steal my soul.

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 11:03:43 -0500

LOL Happy Birthday to you, too! :) I’ve seen your posts on Neil’s blog, and I’ve lol’ed many times. Consider yourself followed as well - don’t try anything funny…. :)

Al Roker Face

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 11:24:56 -0500

So, I saw the “Al Roker Face” Lady Gaga parody video last night on YouTube, and snickered. This got me thinking, what other Lady Gaga parodies could be made? Here are a few that came to my mind… please throw in your own ideas:

Poker Face: ”Stroker Ace” (IMDB it), “Moper Face” (for the emo crowd)

Papparazzi: “I Called ‘Yahtzee!’”, “Neo-Nazi”, “Luca Brasi” (again, IMDB it), “Sit On It, Potsie”

GPO-my very pregnant self-F. Two and one-half weeks to go until...

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 11:12:39 -0500

GPO-my very pregnant self-F. Two and one-half weeks to go until my spawn is unleashed upon the world. It’s all going according to plan… mwahaha

How are you, sis? I sure miss you and your Rosemary's baby.

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 19:59:42 -0500

Doing well, won’t be long now until I unleash Henry on the world…mwahahaha! I’m huge - I’ll post a photo. I miss you too. I’ll prolly give birth when you’re in Madison. Do you think you might come up soon after to see your nephew? Take care!

Chat Roulette brings out the best in us all...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 16:36:47 -0600

So, I experienced Chat Roulette for the first time the other evening at a friend’s place. Instead of us going on as ourselves, like mature adults, we decided to take the road more travelled by 12-yr-olds and use a stuffed Quatchi doll instead. Since we were watching Olympic curling at the time, we thought using one of the Vancouver mascots would be most appropriate.

After getting dumped by about a half-dozen very questionable/pervy-looking individuals who were clearly not at all interested in interacting with a stuffed doll (at least, a doll lacking orifices), we were finally connected with a group of drunk college guys. Jackpot - if anyone over the age of 12 was going to get a kick out of this, it would be them. So, naturally, we proceeded to pose poor Quatchi in a number of unspeakable positions, doing a number of inappropriate things to himself, simply for our own amusement. The guys immediately responded by grabbing a sock monkey doll that they somehow conveniently had nearby in their dorm room, and trying to one-up our filthy display.

Anyway, both parties ended up laughing until our stomachs hurt, and we got bare-ass mooned by one of the college guys, before logging off and realizing that no matter how far you think you’ve come in life, we’re all still pre-pubescent, giggly little dorks on the inside. Heaven help us.

PS - Ironically, the only thing I kept thinking the whole time is that I wished NeilShow was there, as his innate perversion would have been a welcome addition.

Cleverhandle: Just cause we came out of the same lady-garden, don't assume I will not destroy you.

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:12:11 -0600

theneilshow:

Our brother Oscar made the same mistake. Now look at him.

Look, despite the fact that, because of you, ~~Oscar~~ The-Nameless-One is shackled in the basement for the protection of humanity and feeds only on the remains of our blood enemies, you’re still a harmless little ant that I will squish under my boot heel as soon as the Day of Reckoning is at hand. Consider yourself and Bisquick warned.

Anyhoo, how have you been? :)

9gag: Game Over Hey, NeilShow, this one’s for you. I...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:24:47 -0600

9gag:

Game Over

Hey, NeilShow, this one’s for you. I should totally knit that outfit for Henry, don’t you think?

Clever Handle Here

9gag: Halloween is coming! As a mom, I should find this...

operatorsmanual: FINAL IMAGE FROM A ROLL OF FILM LABELED...

operatorsmanual: DEAD CLOWN PLATE ROOM REJECT. REASON: “TOO...

thekelsmith: I’m trying very hard to not let the piles of work to be done around the house today...

nebraska-admiral: So I have a handful of recurring dreams. Some...

Look out, homie!

To all the kids out there - stay in school!

Didn't know you were back in the land of the Tumblr living! Welcome back!

NeilShow2, caption this, plz!

turnofthecentury: Nikola Tesla, the great inventor and...

If my powers of deduction exist, I believe you had a baby. Congratulations! (He's very cute!)

nowmybutthurts: portrait of ross by felix gonzalez-torres As...

There's a turd in the punchbowl ... and now there's a turd in my heart. All because of you. Happy birthday! Here's to a peaceful day all to yourself before your own lil turd drops!

theneilshow said it's your birthday. I have to say happy birthday because by happy coincidence, today is also MY birthday. So, Happy Birthday....birthday stealer. I am also following you now, just to make sure you don't steal my soul.

Al Roker Face

GPO-my very pregnant self-F. Two and one-half weeks to go until...

How are you, sis? I sure miss you and your Rosemary's baby.

Chat Roulette brings out the best in us all...

Cleverhandle: Just cause we came out of the same lady-garden, don't assume I will not destroy you.

9gag: Game Over Hey, NeilShow, this one’s for you. I...

There's a turd in the punchbowl ... and now there's a turd in my heart. All because of you.

Happy birthday!

Here's to a peaceful day all to yourself before your own lil turd drops!

theneilshow said it's your birthday. I have to say happy birthday because by happy coincidence, today is also MY birthday.

So, Happy Birthday....birthday stealer.

I am also following you now, just to make sure you don't steal my soul.